in the middle of the night, with the cat. It’s so so damn peaceful.
Come join me.*
*Upon editing this, I realize how often I invite others to join me or accompany me in certain situations. Even on here. As if by joining me, you would make the situation better, but I feel like there is a stigma in our society…in our own heads that being alone is bad.
Being alone and being lonely are two completely different things. There are some things I would just rather just do myself. Does this make me weird? Probably. Yes. I’ve been alone for most of my life. Not physically because my parents are literally 30 feet from me asleep, but I’ve never had someone that I felt I could turn to at a moments notice. Someone who I couldn’t do anything without. No girlfriends. I’ve always lived at least 30 min away from my best friend so I can’t just go see him willy nilly all the time. So, I’ve grown used to enjoying things by myself. I think that’s something other people tend to forget.
If you don’t have anyone to go to [blank] with, then go by yourself. Sure, things are funner (not a real word, but it should be) with other people, but doing things alone is more rewarding. You get a better appreciation for things when you don’t have someone else there to distract you. Right now, I’m waiting for the sunrise and if someone else was here, I probably wouldn’t be doing this. There is a degree of freedom that you can’t get when you’ve got another person with you.
So if you ask me why I’m alone, its because i choose to be.
"Here" is the present. Our state of being. You live in the here and the now along with all the other cool kats and not so cool kats on this big rock we call earth. Slap me some skin if you can dig it. Now can you feel me my brotha?
What's your favourite personal characteristic? AND what's your favourite characteristic when it comes to others?
I like my willingness to learn new things. I LOVE to learn new things. Recently, I’ve taken up cooking. I now make meals for the family 2-3 times a week. This whole running thing I’m on. It’s a new skill that I’m willing to master. About a year ago, I taught myself to ride a bike for the first time.
Do you have something to teach me? Because I am willing to learn and reteach it to others.
In others, I love to see an openness to life/experience. Someone who’s adventuresome, willing to try new things even to a small degree. That could be something as small as picking a new place to eat or flying across the world for an adventure.
I like the sounds of this (considering I'm always working on Friday and there's literally no one else around at all). Hmm, question: if you could get rid of any personal characteristic, what would it be and why?
Easy. Balls. My lack thereof actually. It’s difficult for me to do anything that requires courage. It’s hard to make those split second decisions that require me to put my neck on the line (ie. asking someone out, disagreeing with someone else’s point). I’m a real pushover in that respect.
I have this theory I call The Wizard of Oz Theory. Everyone either lacks courage, a brain, or a heart. I’m more of the Cowardly Lion Type.
To answer your question, I’d get rid of my cowardice.
I don’t know what it is, but I feel different. Not bad. Just different.
Walking through campus, I couldn’t get the smile off my face. It’s like I can see the beauty in things now. The flowers now in bloom, the breeze in the air, the expressions on people’s faces. Everything was beautiful.
Ever since getting back from Arizona, I’ve felt this sense of calm. Like everything is all right with the world. I have a better sense of who I am am what I am capable of. I’m happy with myself. I haven’t felt that in a very long time.
I struggled with depression a few years back. I remember wanting to crash every time I got behind the wheel. Ever since then, I haven’t been afraid of death. If I died today, I wouldn’t mind because it’s not under my control. Now, I can’t wait to live. Live as long as I possibly can. I want to be alive so I can experience the most beautiful things the life has to offer.
I’m excited for the future. I’m excited to love someone with a passion, to run a marathon, to become a doctor, to change someone’s life, to see my child smile at me for the first time, to travel to the ends of the earth, to be the best at something. I will make these things happen. Most definitely.
I am happy. I love you all. Live for today. Dream for tomorrow.
Is it wrong that this might actually work on me? Seriously, if I was dating someone who had paper cranes leading to the bedroom, I’d be all for it by the time I get to the door.
I mean how long it would have taken to make that many paper cranes. It would take like a week to make that many. Origami is a delicate process. I’d use the sexy looking folding papers too. If it didn’t work, I’d have wasted like 15 hours making “sexy” paper cranes. Paper cuts all over my hands, ouch.
Would you rather have a girlfriend who will only give you oral sex if you do the "Vrooooom! Here comes the airplane!" thing with your paynus OR a girlfriend who automatically shifts to a Bill Cosby impression during all sexual activity?
Airplane girlfriend definitely. I don’t think I could handle someone yelling “Jello pudding!” every 5 seconds let alone during sex.
General question: view on sex? Are you a particularly sexual person despite the fact that you've never had a real relationship?
I’m in the middle I suppose. I don’t like talking about sex a lot in public, but I will talk about it with my friends. Guys tend to talk pretty dirty around each other. Surprise, surprise.
I don’t mind admitting I haven’t had much sex. But I’m fairly open to trying new things. Sex isn’t necessarily essential to a relationship, but is an eventual progression. I would love to be a sexual person but I don’t think I’m the type. But I haven’t had enough experience to vouch for it.
Read this when you want to feel better about your life.
It was New Year’s Eve of 2009.
I was pumped because I had been invited to a New Year’s Eve party, which was something that rarely ever happened back then. The end of this story will further emphasize why that was. Anyways, I didn’t want to go alone so I asked this coworker who I had a crush on for some time. Red hair, lip ring. A real badass. Obviously. She never responded.
*sidenote: I still don’t have the courage to ask a girl out in person, so I resort to using texts and IMs. I’d rather be rejected on the computer than to my face.
I’d say at this point I wasn’t as jaded about being alone forever, so I took it pretty hard. I still wanted to go to the party because…well..free booze. I got my best friend to go with me and be my designated driver because I was fully intending to get blackout drunk. Drink your problems away. That sort of thing.
So we get there and a lot of my friends from work are there. It was starting out to be a fun night, despite my previous rejection. I decided to play a game where I kept up with the biggest guy in the room. In the matter of one hour.. I was feeling pretty good. So I notice this cute girl at the party. At least my drunk brain perceived her to be cute. She was with some other guy so I waited for my chance. She got closer then I made my move.
*sidenote 2: I am in full support of alcohol as social lubricant.
We started talking about something…I can’t remember what about to save my life. I feel awesome. Red-headed, piercing girl will curse the day she rejected me, I thought. My friend then pulls out the Everclear (a vile drink only Satan would dare make) and asks me if I want a shot. HELL YEAH I WANT A SHOT. Let me impress this girl and she’ll be mine forever. I take the shot.
Standing there with a blank look on my face and a fire in my throat, I don’t move an inch. If I stand still for long enough, it will go away. “Alright!” someone yells followed by a slap on the back. You know when you pat a baby on the back to make them burp? Same principle applies. An explosion of tortilla chips and Corona gush from my throat and onto the kitchen floor. Everyone soon disperses. Ashamed, I clean up my mess for the next half hour. I leave and never speak of it again.
Why aren't things ever convenient? Why aren't possibilities ever just hanging out by the front door when you could really use a good ol' possibility sandwich? Why are circumstances so full of junk most the time?
We cannot predict our future. We cannot forget out past. We can only accept our present.
Be happy with your yourself first and life will follow suit.